Can someone do my laundry for me?

Hello, hello, hello again!

 It's time for another blog entry. Nothing really happened today so I'm going to try to keep things sweet, short and to the point.

 I managed to be a somewhat successful adult and accomplish some cleaning (vacuuming the living room, bedroom and hallway of my apartment) as well as wiping down the bathroom. I know it's a small portion of everything that needs done; but, I would burn myself out far, far too quickly if I were to try to do everything at once. You'd probably find me laying on the ground somewhere with a dazed look in my face. Anyway, I still need to try to dust off the shelves and tops of my bookshelves as well as the entertainment stand and a few other higher surfaces that most average sized people can't see.

I'm currently doing my laundry and wishing, again, that I had my own washer and dryer. If I have to do some apartment shopping, I'm going to try to find one that has a washer or dryer in the room if I can afford the expense. I feel like the money I spend weekly (appx $5 or so) is ridiculous. Kind of makes me wish for my parent's house and the free access to the washer and dryer there. I think I could put up with living under my parent's roof for that, though you also have to compete with siblings and your parents themselves for access to the machines. Good news though! I think my grandparents have offered me theirs when I move and have room for them. We'll see if that's true when the time actually comes!

I've been having serious bouts of show indecisiveness.

I

I feel like Netflix knows this and makes my decision harder by informing me that it's going to remove several of the shows I've started an episode or two of; but, have since been sidetracked by other new seasons or episodes that have been added.

To be honest though, I'm really waiting for the new season of Supernatural. Some of you know how big of a fan I am of the show and for those who don't,

The Maze Runner: The Death Cure is a fitting ending.

Today's weather forecast was....cold. The weather outside was cold. I wish I could have avoided going out into it completely; but, I have to let Minnie out to go to the bathroom and I had to go get food so I could continue to go on living and existing. I found myself while I was in the store, struggling with trying to determine what I wanted to eat. I didn't want to go crazy buying all kinds of meats and vegetables, that tends to get pricey; but, I didn't want to completely go all out on processed foods either, despite them being cheaper. I wanted to try to find that subtle blend between the two that would be both cost savvy and yet be subsistent enough to last me until I get paid next weekend....while also leaving money for rent, gas, etc.

And of course to make matters worse, I was hungry from not having had anything to eat since this morning when I had french toast for breakfast. (Not the healthiest option, I know; but, I wanted to try for some diversity in the kitchen for breakfast.

Anyway, my day started off shitty. I found myself awake at around 4:50 AM this morning and couldn't go back to sleep, I guess maybe because there was an innate fear that I would sleep through the call for our annual leave bids that I hoped were happening today. They did and I got the shit end of the stick again. Being the lowest man on the totem pole sucks. I get no choice in my shift, I rarely get what I want for vacation. So, the two weeks I was really, really hoping to get that fell around my six days off, I didn't get, either of them. Which blows because despite not getting my hopes up and thankfully not buying a ticket to the concert, I still felt disappointment. I was looking forward to getting away from work for a good 10+ days. Go somewhere, do something,visit with family, maybe go to the concert, maybe visit my cousin in San Diego. Now, I don't know what I'm going to do. I spouted off some week at random, hoping it wasn't taken; but, I have no idea what my days off that week are already so I don't know what kind of vacation I'm going to be able to have or what I'm going to do.

As someone else put it, I have plenty of time to figure it out. I'm just waiting to see if I hear anything on any of the transfer requests I put out. Maybe, if I'm lucky, one of those will come through and I'll be able to get out of here. A change of scenery would be nice.

Now, I want to get to probably the most exciting part of this whole blog today: The Maze Runner: The Death Cure!

I was a little skeptical at first about it considering the second movie left me less than impressed and the reviews (which I normally ignore) gave it a less than 70% rating. So, I tried to go in with an open mind considering how much I enjoyed the books and the fact that my ticket was only $5. Anyway, the movie picks up not long from where the second ended and quickly jumps into the action. The adventure between start and finish kept me engaged the entire length of the movie and I found myself eagerly awaiting to see how it would finally come to an end.

I'd read some articles that said this was going to be the final film and there wouldn't be any sequels, akin to the book series it's based on.

Continuing on, you could see the war going on inside of Thomas. He was trying to make amends for all the people who were lost following his suggestions/directions/orders. There was plenty of action, enough romance to keep me interested in the development between the characters and the ending matched the novels nearly to a 't'. I'd thoroughly recommend it to anyone thinking to go watch.

More Snow? Jack Frost must hate me.

You know what I wasn't expecting this morning when I went into work - snow! You know what began to slowly flurry down on the drive into work - snow!

I guess that's what I get when I don't fully examine the weather forecast before letting Minnie out to the restroom and then hitting the road (my usual routine). Luckily, despite there being a promise of 4-5 inches today, I think the actual accumulation was far fewer, which is a relief. I was just beginning to get my hopes up for summer and wouldn't you know it? The temperature drops back below freezing and it snows! I know, I know. I should expect snow, it's winter and I'm in the northeast, right next to several of the great lakes. It should be a given that I should expect at least a little snow.

Anyway! On to more annoying news. I found out today, after having driven to one location with the intention of driving a fellow coworker over to another location and eventually coming back around 8ish this morning to do our annual leave bid, that the so called individual who would be performing the bid for our annual leaves was sick again. I don't mean to sound like a horrible or insensitive individual; but, we're literally the only ones left at work who haven't bid for annual leave and the guy leaves at the end of this week for his own transfer out to another location. The question my coworker posed and a valid one at that - 'why don't they just have another person or steward perform the bid for us?'

To which, I replied with a shrug, 'I don't know.'

It's entirely frustrating because I was hoping to be there when the bid was conducted so I could begin to plan my summer vacation. I'm debating visiting my cousin in San Diego and going to a concert and visiting with friends in North Carolina, both of which are entirely fun sounding adventures; but, neither of which can be done until I know what weeks I have. The concert takes place the 4-6th of May and if I can't get that week off for annual leave, there's no point in buying tickets for it. I'm hoping that the new bid sheet I sent in was filled out correctly and that I'll be getting a call tomorrow morning at around 8-10ish that will ask to confirm my bid selections and I'll know whether or not I got either one of them.

I've also been discussing working on a fantasy role play with some old role playing buddies. I'm hoping to persuade one of them to co-admin since she's familiar with the game and has a pretty good grasp on how to run things in exchange for me running the day to day and handling the things she can't or doesn't want to. I've managed to convince the other friend to be on board for participation; but, there's been nothing set in stone yet and we haven't even fully decided on an actual role playing concept yet.

Stay tuned for more information on that -

In other news,

The Last Skycity should be back on track for writing these next few days as long as I remain committed and steadfast in my goal for an early spring completion and then editing, publishing, blah, blah, blah can all follow after friends' critiques.

Season Three of The Shannara Chronicles? Yes please.

Some of you may be familiar with the show, some of you may not. Season one aired last year on MTV as a new fantasy series based loosely around the 41 book series by Terry Brooks. Season one started off with a bang, luring us into a lush, post-apocalyptic San Francisco/surrounding California area? in a world destroyed by nuclear war that has given rise to several variations of 'races' originating from human; elves, gnomes, dwarves, trolls and humans through there appears to be a plethora more in the actual book series more.

- Note to self: pick up the nearest copy of the first book and work on getting caught up.

That being said, season two was on rockier ground with a move from MTV to Spike. Spike apparently seemed to have the best of intentions with the series and it appeared that Terry was still involved in the creative process; but, with only ten episodes available now on Netflix, it makes me curious, will there be a season three? I certainly hope so. The ending left me with more questions than answers and I'm certainly curious to see the relationships develop between Eretria and Lyria as well as Wil and Mareth. So many options and let's not even dive into the subject of the cliffhanger ending - for those of you who haven't seen this series, get to it!

In other news, I'm still waiting to hear about my transfer requests. Let's hope something turns up soon and I can get out of Michigan! *crosses my fingers and hopes for the best*

Bouts of Loneliness Consume Me

Hello everyone!

It's way past time for me to write another one of these entries. As many of you regulars know and for those I haven't told, I was seeing a girl for a few dates, thought things were going really well and then she told me out of the blue that she didn't sense the spark she was looking for between us and ended things to avoid wasting both our times. I hadn't realized how much I had opened up to her until she ended it and I realized that I missed being able to cuddle with her. Do I know if it was love? No. Do I know that it felt really, really good to cuddle with her on the couch and do nothing but stare at each other? Yes. The worst part is she is literally the third girl I've kissed, haha. I seem to have a running trend of either scaring women off or doing something subconsciously to make them wary of pursuing things between us further.

The worst part?

I kept wondering the whole time we were dating if it was the right time to kiss her. I kept thinking back to all of the blogs, tips, etc I'd read as well as the advice my friends imparted upon me about not kissing on the first date despite the desire to do so when I hugged her. I kept thinking that maybe I didn't show her that I was really interested or was sending her mixed signals. I'm new to a lot of the dating ins and outs and it's hard for me to open up and express myself sometimes. I don't think some girls understand just how hard it is for me to kiss them. It's not that I don't want to; but, it's like there's massive wall constructed in my mind that keeps me from kissing, touching, etc despite wanting to. It's a pain in the butt and I'm working on it as I'm able to.

Anyway, since the end of things, I've been feeling very lonely lately. I know there's ways to fix that and I have Minnie so I should be fine, right? I thought so too at first. Turns out that once I had a taste of the cuddles that I had with the girl, I want more. I want to come home to someone and snuggle with them on the couch, burrow under the covers with Minnie snuggling on top of us and watch movies or TV. I tried going out with some friends this past weekend and I thought that would help; but, it turned out to be more a bore as we didn't really do much of anything.

Anyway, it helped to write this so I'm going to try to be more proactive on the site and in keeping up with my blogs.

Thanks for reading!

Mistakes, don't you love 'em?

I won't be the first person to admit that I'm perfect. You'll probably find me somewhere close to the bottom, among the common folk. I'll stand up, proudly raise my hand and say I'm human, I'm prone to making mistakes. This doesn't mean that they're right or wrong, just that we sometimes allow ourselves to be influenced by outside forces or family members to do something we may not 100% agree with.

This goes with women. There's one who I'll avoid mentioning the name of because it wouldn't be fair to her; but, she'll know who I'm talking about when I go through the rest of this entry. Anyway, this woman and I have had our fair share of ups and downs. I've always in the back of my head thought it strange that no matter what happens I always find myself coming back to thinking about her, wondering how she's doing or just generally wishing that I could talk to her in person. Whether or not she's ever truly trusted me is an entirely different story and hey, I can tell you from person experience that I've made my fair share of mistakes and been worthy of the hesitancy in trust. Did I ever completely trust her? I don't honestly know.

You always see this quotes saying something along the lines of, 'never give up and you'll eventually get what you've been hoping for' or something loosely along those lines. Would I love another opportunity with her? Hell yes, do I deserve it? Probably not. I wouldn't blame a person who's been hurt multiple times, had their heart put through the ringer and questions people to not want to put themselves out on a limb to find out whether or not that feeling they think might be real could be fake.

I go through that emotion every time I start opening myself up to a woman. It's not easy for me. My first ever ex left me with a bunch of scars and self-doubt about myself. I always seem to question myself when I look at a woman and wonder if I'm truly worthy of someone like them. I don't have the body I want, the money I want to have to treat a girl right, etc. I could list a plethora of endless excuses; but, it all comes down to me and my past. It's a barrier that I have to overcome myself. A literal, physical plateau I have to overcome to become a better, more human person.

If you're reading this and you know who you are, I know I can never say sorry enough or mean it enough; but, I genuinely miss you and think about you often. Sometimes it's a fear of seeing something we don't want to or fearing the likelihood of such an outcome that causes us to be hesitant to approach someone.

Till next time folks! P.S. Please convince your representatives to focus on the budget! There are hundreds of thousands of employees who will suffer because of their stubbornness and inconsistency, myself included.

Thanks!

Testing Things

Hello,

Testing this new blog thing.

Stay tuned for more entries!